its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
