he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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