____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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