well you can't waste a boner
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
