just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
