sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
