Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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