You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
