We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
