awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
