We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
