last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
