O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
