I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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