I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
