Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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