So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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