What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
