Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
