I need help removing her.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
