This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
