can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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