hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will be naked everywhere
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
