i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
