Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
