Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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