After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
