How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
