This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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