Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
