He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
