I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
