Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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