fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
