I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
