end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I got inside last night via doggy door
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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