Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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