I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
