When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
