Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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