I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
