so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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