u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
