She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
