After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
