Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
