I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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