Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
