six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sobbing to NWA
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
