Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
